Finding Myself at 50:
As I approached 50, I found myself in a place I didn’t expect to be. I wasn’t feeling beautiful, and I wanted to rediscover that part of myself. As women, especially in middle age, there aren’t many things in the world that validate us. I look at other women and see how stunning they are, but inside I wasn’t feeling that way. Deep down, I wanted to experience what it was like to feel beautiful too.
The truth? I was scared to death. I almost canceled my session. The thought of stepping in front of a camera made me nervous—I worried I wouldn’t “look” like the other women whose photos I’d admired. Thankfully, Jillene talked me through my fears and reminded me why I booked in the first place. Holding true to myself was the best decision I could have made.
From the moment I stepped into the studio, everything shifted. I was immediately put at ease. Amy reminded me that this was about me—and only me. If I wasn’t comfortable, I didn’t have to do anything. Every decision was mine. From start to finish, I was surrounded by constant encouragement and genuine empathy for all of my insecurities. From the glam makeover to the wardrobe to the very last pose, Amy never stopped reminding me of how beautiful I was.
One of the things that surprised me most was what Amy noticed. She kept gushing about my jawline and, hilariously, “that booty” every five seconds. Those weren’t features I had ever thought of as my strengths. Yet through her lens, she showed me parts of myself I had overlooked—and she made me feel confident in them.
The after-effects of that day are still with me, three years later. My confidence soared. In Jillene’s words, “I could see myself the way everyone else does.” That’s exactly it. Whenever I doubt myself, I open my boudoir book and remind myself of the woman I truly am.
I did this shoot for me—and it’s one of the best gifts I’ve ever given myself.
