Let’s just clarify … I’m not here to tell you that you can do whatever the f*** you want, and just damn all the circumstances. If you’re looking for that kind of permission – girl, you need to seek a bottle of tequila and a night out with your best non-judgmental girlfriends! (*I’ll never tell!*) No. What I’m talking about is how tiring and dangerous it can be to ignore the things that you really want to do – for you!
We get up every day and immediately jump in with both feet doing , well .. all the things. All the things that must be done.
Child care. Work. House-keeping. Work. Bills. Did I mention child care. Adulting through daily life. Being kind, while being a badass. Keeping it together, while losing your shit on the inside. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Looking good in society. Looking good on social media. Showing our best to our boss. Our family. Our friends. Being pleasing and perfect to our plus one. Listening to chaos, quietly, with an empathetic ear, while wishing anyone would do the same for us. Explaining life and it’s many lessons to our kids/spouse/boss/friends even though we have no idea how we’ve made it this far.
Does any of this sound familiar? Because here’s what I want you to think about…
After doing all that “have to” stuff , I’ve gotta ask… Do you feel good about you? Do you feel good? Do you feel empowered and successful? Do you feel beautiful .. after putting in all that effort to look good for someone else. Do you feel beautiful, to yourself? Whether we’re talking about what we see in the mirror or how we see ourselves in our own minds’ eye. Do you feel smart and worthwhile after exhausting all that energy?
Maybe it’s time to give yourself a break. Or at least a time out. When my daughter was little – I hated to give her a time out. It was the very definition of being in trouble. But, what I wouldn’t give, for permission to take a few of those “timeouts” once or twice a day. Hell.. once or twice a week would be beneficial! In retrospect, her time out wasn’t necessarily about being in trouble. It was about taking a pause to regain focus on what was best. On what she should have been doing.
So what should you be doing? Better yet… what do you want to be doing? Now, I’m not here to sell you on the idea that by doing a photo shoot, you will automatically be placed into nirvana (although it truly is on a whole other level!). No. I’m legitimately asking … “What is good for you?”. It can be rhetorical. It can be a “thinker”. Let’s come up with a few “maybes” for what we’ll give ourselves permission to do. Maybe it’s taking 5 minutes alone to breathe. Maybe it’s passing off the kids to dad, sis, or a sitter in order to take that spin class. Maybe it’s spending a little money to sign up for the college course you’ve always said was a bucket list goal. Maybe it’s planning a girls’ night (better yet a girls’ trip!). Maybe it’s having that tough conversation with the person who keeps making you feel guilty about doing anything special for yourself. And lean in here, friend.. maybe that person that keeps making you feel guilty about you doing you … is you! (Now you didn’t see that one coming, did ya?)
We live our daily lives in the mind-frame that we have to do this… we have to do that… we have to do …whatever is best for everyone else around us. But girl.. you’ve got to give yourself permission to do for you too. You’ll end up depleted. Anxious. Frustrated. Bitter. Guarded. And a whole list of other not-so-fun adjectives, that are not who you really are.
Now – if any of those above listed activities spoke to your soul.. go do it! If another idea crossed your mind immediately – start moving towards that goal. And if you really want to step into that goddess, rebel, I’m-about-to-set-the-world-on-fire persona … you need to call me right now to book a photo shoot that will legit change your life!
I’m ready. And I’m giving you my permission.
Now – you give yourself permission too.
Jillene McMichael, Boudoir by Amy Gilmore Photography
